Its just You, Me and Reality

lol

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 01:47:55 +0800

lol

Reality is better than porn.

Fri, 14 May 2010 12:28:18 +0800

Situation One: The Naughty Student
Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor.

Porn:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: (has sex with him)

Reality:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: Like what?
Professor: A seven- to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.
Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.

Situation Two: The Hot Teacher
Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts.

Porn:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)

Reality:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)

Situation Three: The Sorority
Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.

Porn:
Head Sorority Girl: Let’s have a naked pillowfight!
Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
Sorority Girls: (do those things)

Reality:
I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.

Situation Four: The Curious Freshman
A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does.

Porn:
Brett: Let’s try anal sex.
Candi: Okay.

Reality:
Brett: Let’s try anal sex.
Candi: No.

Situation Five: The Janitor
A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage.

Porn:
Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning?
Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him)

Reality:
Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school.
Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.

Damn straight!

Fri, 14 May 2010 12:23:45 +0800

Damn straight!

formspring.me

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:03:50 +0800

— What is the average speed of an object weighing 5 pounds launched at an angle of 69 degrees for a distance of 2 kilometers?

sorry, im too lazy to answer physics questions. :)

Any questions?

formspring.me

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 21:39:38 +0800

Any questions? http://formspring.me/bennieclu

formspring.me

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:02:48 +0800

Q: wanna do me?… it’s free.. :)

A:Never, I dont like random people.. save my virginity up for my future wife. :)

Nice Shoes.. The Old school will always be remembered. :)

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:00:23 +0800

Nice Shoes.. The Old school will always be remembered. :)

now this ones funny. :))

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:32:30 +0800

now this ones funny. :))

i guess everyones not normal. :)

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:28:33 +0800

i guess everyones not normal. :)

toink

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:24:47 +0800

toink

lol

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:21:55 +0800

lol

"Everything must be precise."

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 01:16:42 +0800

“Everything must be precise.”

Nothing beats “Times Infinity”. :)

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:15:00 +0800

Nothing beats “Times Infinity”. :)

Never thought of a girl saving me.. haha. :D

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:03:19 +0800

Never thought of a girl saving me.. haha. :D

To a Stranger,

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:53:19 +0800

And of all the girls ive been.. you seem to be the one who had almost everything i wanted and loved. :)

"You cant help but flirt, wink yer eye, then the guys go look at yah.. But that thing wont work for a..."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:46:28 +0800

“You cant help but flirt, wink yer eye, then the guys go look at yah.. But that thing wont work for a guy like me. :)”

OOOOOOOed

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:57:31 +0800

At a bar…

Guy flirts to a person.

Guy only sees the persons back.

Guy: Hey there pretty miss..

“Person doesnt talk at all”

“Guy tries to talk to the person again.”

Guy: Hey miss.. you have nice hair.. and nice curves.

“Person looks towards the Guy and Says:”

Person: HEY THERE PRETTY FACE. :) “in a manly voice”

“Guy runs like a cheetah and never looks back again.”

~OOOOOOOed.. hahaha.. :D

Worst Pickup line.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:20:19 +0800

I just thought ot this.. my brain constantly has wierd things in mind...

Guy: Tell Her I said hi. (smile)

Girl: What?

Guy: I said hi to those two cute thing's you're carrying over there. =)

"Suddenly the girl slaps the guy in the face OR the girl smiles and takes the guy on a date. :)"

"And then I bid you farewell and be happy. :)"

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:13:06 +0800

“And then I bid you farewell and be happy. :)”

Dear Someone,

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:12:37 +0800

Well, for the thought of it. Many people saw you change in a way that some people see you as almost of B than a C. But its cool, for you, the most important thing is happiness, then you forgot the partner of that word. Its called “Safety”. :)